Small talk can seem like a waste of time. Why do we have to talk about the weather instead of what really matters? Yet, as conversationalist expert Debra Fine points out, “without small talk you rarely got to the real conversation. Small talk … clears the way for more intimate conversation, laying the foundation for a stronger relationship.”
You’ve got to eat some fluffy mashed potatoes before you can get to the meat of the conversation!
Depending on your personality type, you may despise the chit-chat or you may embrace it. If you are one of those who avoid it at all costs, here are some tips to make it less painful and even enjoyable.
Find the approachable person in the room. This person is alone, not already engaged in a conversation. Make eye contact and you have found a person to talk to. Introduce yourselves and ask one simple question: What do you do?
Ask open-ended questions. You’ll be surprised where the conversation takes you.
You ask: Where did you go on your last vacation? And you leave the party with a recipe of a delicious Malaysian dish.
You ask: What do you like best about your job? And you learn that your cousin works with your conversation partner.
Be interested. Discover something new from each person you talk to. Make it into a game. Ask questions until you learn something unexpected.
Photo by HIVAN ARVIZU on Unsplash
Give yourself a goal. Before going to a networking event, give yourself a goal, such as “I will talk to 5 people before I leave” or “I will leave with the contact information of one potential client.” Then give yourself permission to leave when you have completed the goal.
Small talk opens the doors to the deep connections we hope to develop with people. You must swim in the shallow waters before you can get to the depths.